I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her

Dear Law School Admission Test (or LSAT as you tell your stupid friends to call you):

I have something to say. We’re going to make this thing work, you and I.

I’ve never really been into your type. Clearly, you’ve never been into mine. (Snob.) This, like Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast said, is a tale as old as time. I’m free-spirited and sickeningly ADD. You’re buttoned down and straight-to-the-point. I’m all about tiaras and wands and extravagant Bollywood dance numbers set in Scotland for no reason. You’re indie in another way, like bringing Adorno into your black and white, European art cinema kind of way. I annoy you with my habit of mixing up your and you're. I think you're as socially awkward as a lactose intolerant cow. Let’s be honest, our parents totally set us up. (And I may have been with you to get the attention of another guy. I know. Not my proudest moment.)

We’re not sure about where this thing is going. The odds are against it. You’re being kind of a dick now with your wordy multiple choice answers and trick questions. (Part of the trick is that they’re boring. Seriously. Fuck you.) But, I’m not giving up on you that easy. Nuh-uh. Most girls would leave the boring ones. The thrill being gone and all that. This will not be the deal breaker. I will figure. you. out. Under that hard-edged, cerebral exterior lies one cuddly Bollywood hero. I just know it. I will do everything I can do to find that guy. You can count on it. And, you know why you’re worth it? I’ll be a better person at the end of it all. That’s right. That Tom Cruise/Jerry Maguire bull shit might be true: you complete me. We can do great things together. Believe me. There will be fan fiction written about us, our names combined and sites devoted to our ship. The world will better for it. Okay, maybe not with the aforementioned part (such a lawyerly word, am I right?)… but I’m sure world peace will factor into it. I know everybody thinks their love will save the world, but hey, you never know. I got a good feeling about this.

Love, F.

P.S. Kajol and Shahrukh Khan are coming out with their first film in years in February. They have Kate and Leo status in terms of epic film pairings in India. I am pumped.

Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai are two of my all-time favorite films. Just the kind of stuff you want to pop in after a day of LSAT prep being... difficult.