I think this semester has the best collective syllabus as far. I’m really excited to sink my teeth into them. I hope I can sustain this sudden thirst for knowledge and learning throughout the next semester. I’ve made a point to be extra meticulous about my school work. Live in the moment. I’m going to school to learn, better myself—not get it over with. I do want to be someone who embodies a process of education and learning. That’s the whole fucking point of these four years and more. It just really counts. But, I’m also aware that I have to do it in slices. Listening to sentimentally exultant and cadenced Bollywood music helps me get through the drudge of truly absorbing information. B’wood is really so good at that. I can’t quite explain it. Just a few seconds of melody can evoke this panorama of hurt and love and your bedroom window in the middle of a fresh, sunny afternoon. Those really surprisingly self-aware moments. Yup.
I also have class from 9:30 to 12:30 tomorrow and kind of hate myself for being awake right now. God. And I just promised to do something tomorrow out of like… righteous spontaneity (or stupidity). Well, I never saw myself as someone who didn’t follow through with these things. I hope the weather isn’t as crappy as it was today.
I’m a little wistful, because the closer we get to spring, the closer I get to having to let go of all my great senior friends. I don’t want to think about next year will be like without them. I've gotten used to not thinking so much about how lonely it can get.
I brought back a bouquet of X-Files from California and I’ve been watching them with anyone who’s willing (particularly A and V). Of course, just a few episodes in and my love for Mulder has been rekindled. He's ruined men for me, you know?
We just recently finished the whole Duane Barry trilogy in season two. These episodes were marvelously Mulder-centric. The best of Mulder: his heroics, stubbornness, his struggling with all his guilt and all his faith, the heart wrenchingly unabashed, totally stifled affection for his lady-partner.
I hadn’t watched that in years and it was just SO GOOD. Watching things after a long time is so much fun. You’re older and you pick up on different things. It means something more, becomes intriguing in a completely different but wonderful way.
Since we're on the subject of Mulder, this woman made this great case (and picspam) of all the reasons she loved Mulder and I couldn't have said it better:
I love his ceaseless curiosity, his determination to get to the bottom of just about any question you might ask (especially those others would want to bury or ignore); I love his incredibly deep compassion, his big heart, his reckless courage, and his inability to give up, even on those things and people that others might deem lost causes. I love that he's a man who's not afraid to cry, to show weakness, or to admit to his failings. I love his knee-jerk humor and quick wit, his filing cabinet of a massive brain, and even his deep-seated guilt complex. I love his sunflower seeds, his dark and mysterious apartment; his habit of sticking his fingers into unidentified goo, and putting together slide shows; his dazzling leaps of faith and of logic. I love the basic respect he holds for all good people, the patience he has with victims and his desire to tell their stories. I love that when it comes down to it, he'll choose what's right over what's easy. I love that, in spite of spouting his fair share of cynicism, he truly wants to believe the best of people (and is constantly let down when so many fail to meet those expectations), that he's really a closet optimist at heart; that he wants believe! I love that he won't think twice about going to the ends of the earth for his partner; that trust, honesty, loyalty, and ultimately truth are of the utmost importance to him, and that he'll fight with everything he's got to defend them.
How can anyone read that and not... just love the guy?
And, it's already Tuesday now. Here’s to things being not so flustered for me as yesterday. May there be more pleasant resolutions in the future. I am so tired all the time.
he is clearly love! LOVELOVELOVE!
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